The Best Author Ever

You may be well-read. You may have chewed and digested

all of the classics of days gone by and days near. You may have a collection of favorite books and authors that you consider the epitome of fiction and well-written prose. You may have read authors that you would laud as utter geniuses in your craft. However, dear reader, these notions are vastly misguided. Your status as erudite is an illusion, for you have yet to read the words from my mind, pencil, and computer. I am the greatest writer whom God has placed on earth, no matter the weathers of time. In this one paragraph, you are guaranteed to agree and set aside all preconceived notions. You have seen the err of your judgment and will now dedicate your life to lapping up my words, or else relegate yourself to being fatuous.

Or so I must say. I am, as you know, embarking on the

journey of publishing my first novel. I have published short stories, but that was a different beast of experience. I have found that a part of this process is a certain level of vacuous boasting. The previous paragraph is a hyperbolic version of what I must declare to the world. After all, how am I to get published if I only say the truth? If I betray what we all know to be the truth, that I, like other writers, have a wavering confidence, then it is bad marketing. No one wants to pick up a book where an author speaks realistically about their thoughts on their work. They want the author to promise that their book will be a life-changing experience. Frankly, many are, whether the author had confidence in that or not. However, I find these boasting promises difficult to utter.

I would like to say that my point of view is pragmatic. I

look at the evidence and give an dispassionate interpretation. I cannot guarantee that it is so. However, I will take the opportunity here to give my most honest assessment that I may not be able to say in the near future, for fear of SEO and publicists. I am a good writer. I tell stories that I genuinely believe to have value and be entertaining. However, I also know that life is a process of learning. I know the next novel I write will always be better in some small way than the last because I learned something in the crafting. My grammar is not as perfect as that of the writers of old or some modern sages. I still misspell words as a rule of my life, and dictionaries and spell check remain my guards against appearing the fool I often feel like. Because I teach English at a high school, I read as many novels of student work as I do published pieces. Therefore, I occasionally adopt their bad habits and must retrain myself out of them. I have crutches and weaknesses in prose form. I worry that my characters come across as shallow because I can’t dedicate all the same time to each on the page. I worry that my plots are too simplistic. I fear that people will pick up my books and declare them not worth the paper they are printed on. In haughty moments, I read some novels and joke with myself that if that swill was published, I can be, and I feel, first, guilty for the thought, then chagrined that someone may have the same thought about something I have written. I look back at old writing of mine, and I am grateful because I can see my progress, but also cringe, because I really was that bad before. I can never be good enough, because I can always become better.

So, if you were to ask me about my novel I am currently

querying, my honest assessment is I can do better, or at least I hope so. I think that is why so many authors get caught in the never-ending self-editing cycle. With each iteration of a draft, I learn something new. I get better. So, why would I publish a book when I know I can do better? It is because I will never publish a book if I only publish once there is no more to learn, because there will never be no more to learn. This novel is my current best, and I am actively working on my next current best. I will be able to laud my current novel as a great work, because it is. I love the characters. I love the world and magic system I made. I love the nods to my heritage in the book. I love the journey and message the story takes me through. I believe with my whole heart that when you read it someday, there is something sticky in it. Depending on what your heart needs when you read it, the characters, the setting, or elements of the world will become a part of you. We will become a strange creature in symbiosis because the same precious thing will live in both of us.

Am I the best writer ever? Not yet for certain. However, I

am working toward it every time I sit down to write. I am working on it right now. Read my first blog and then read more recent ones. You’ll see the same growth I do. I look forward to getting better. If I have one addiction, it is learning. If I have two, it is writing. I’ll admit it is both. Does that guarantee my success? I don’t think so. However, I am dedicated to the journey. Will I ever become an author people know well within my genre niche? I can’t say. It is too soon to know. I wrote this post because popularity and widespread acclaim have never been my goals in publishing. However, by necessity of the trade, I must seek it. If such a great name were impossible for me, a publisher would never consider my work.

Success in writing, for me, is about whether my writing

touches a reader's life. I will push for sales and popularity. I will play the game. However, it is because that is the vehicle to give the reader an opportunity to experience my stories and have that precious moment. Sales numbers will touch my ego, but I doubt it will change my assessment of my skills. I have been praised heavily by beta readers, editors, friends, family, and book clubs who have honored me by being a part of my journey. I can’t count the number of times that I have been begged to get my novel on bookshelves as much as they will love the originals in binders. If an agent or publisher is reading this, focus on those last two sentences, please. They are true. However, they don’t sway my objective view of my growth. I would never call those praises wrong, and they have certainly encouraged me. I keep the written notes to look back on during my worst imposter syndrome days.

There should be nothing wrong with admitting we are

striving to improve. You are well-read, and I hope, soon, my novels will sit among your tally. I hope to become someone’s favorite author and, daringly, I hope that someday someone may say I am one of the great authors of my day. The reach will tell me I have touched people’s hearts in the way I have dreamed of since I first came to the conclusion that my stories were not just for me. That is what favorite authors are. They are people who touched our lives in ways that we valued and cherished. If that day could come quite soon, I would be very happy, and perhaps relieved. However, if I must wait for it, I can be patient. I will keep improving in the meantime. I will fight, struggle, and strive for it. I am dedicated to introducing you to someone who isn’t real, but will nonetheless improve your life.